Okay, so, now that I know how to work this doohickee, I'll begin.
I've had an interesting past couple of weeks. I've been desperately trying to remain upbeat, and positive, but haven't exactly been able to do so. To avoid getting into to much detail, or mentioning and thusly sullying anyone's good name, I'll simply say that about two weeks ago, something happened, and about that time, a whole lot of other somethings decided they wanted to happen as well, and all of which have resulted in a very unhappy Tim.
Now, when I'm unhappy, I do one of two things: Sit alone and sulk, or surround myself with friends, and be as positive as I can. I'm not really a big fan of the sulking, so, obviously, I opt for the surrounding myself with friends part. Now, I remember taking this approach around the beginning of my senior year of high school, during a similar situation, and it worked beautifully. It hasn't worked so well this time around. And, after much consideration, I believe I've come up with a few reasons why it hasn't worked.
Number 1: Last time this happened, I grew to loath the person that had caused it. Its very easy to get over someone, when you hate them. This time, that's not an option. Whoops, I just let it slip that this has something to do with another person... ah, well, its not entirely them, a large part of the reason I'm so upset has to do with two older people that live in my house, and seem to have an inability to get along.... hm, I just keep giving things away... do me a favor and use the Amnesia Ray on yourself. And by Amnesia Ray, I mean the revolver. Much thanks. Anyway, on to reason number 2.
Number 2: I went to a small high school. It was very easy to surround myself with friends, when I went to school with 200 people I knew personally everyday. Now, I got to a large community college, with around 5,000 or so people attending, and I know none of them (and most of the few I DO know, like my new friend Eric Zimmler in my Bio Class, I generally dislike very much) Plus, a lot of my friends have left, and gone off to college, or live in places like Alton or Prairietown where daily access is rather hard to come by. It stinks. So the healing process is going to take much longer this time, I'm sure.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... DAMMIT, IF YOU'RE MARRIED, YOU SHOULD GET THE HELL ALONG WITH EACHOTHER! Wait, no! Scratch that, that's not what I was trying to say. What I'm trying to say is, I'm unhappy. And I'm probably going to be unhappy for a while. And its just something I'm going to have to deal with. And I really don't hold anyone at fault, but myself for this. Because I suddenly seem to have an inability to look at the positives in my life. I suddenly have an inability to move on, and accept things that I can't change. Its retarded, I know, but... its hard for me to help.
But there are still positives in my life, I know, and a lot of them. My friends for example: Zach, Anna, Eva, Kristin, Aaron, Paul, Anthony, Josh, Terry, Tom... that's ten positives alone.... already a lot more positives than negatives.... and yet, for some reason the negatives, no matter how few, always seem to outweight the positives, no matter how many... but that's not the point! This paragraph is meant to accentuate the positive! Lets see, what other positives are there.... ah, yes! As weird, and stupid as this will sound to a lot of people, politics is still something I'm still able to immerse myself in, and thusly, make my problems seem insignificant. And my writing! I can still sit down and write stories and screenplays, and totally get into these things and make my problems go away.
The biggest problem though, is that when I'm not doing these things, the problems always creep back... no matter how good I'm feeling, or how much progress I think I've made, my problems always seem to smack me back down sooner or later.
I'm sure they'll go away eventually. I'm sure eventually I'll be able to move on, and be the same Tim I used to be.
It just may take a long long time. Le sigh.
Oh well.... tommorrow's another day, I suppose.
I've had an interesting past couple of weeks. I've been desperately trying to remain upbeat, and positive, but haven't exactly been able to do so. To avoid getting into to much detail, or mentioning and thusly sullying anyone's good name, I'll simply say that about two weeks ago, something happened, and about that time, a whole lot of other somethings decided they wanted to happen as well, and all of which have resulted in a very unhappy Tim.
Now, when I'm unhappy, I do one of two things: Sit alone and sulk, or surround myself with friends, and be as positive as I can. I'm not really a big fan of the sulking, so, obviously, I opt for the surrounding myself with friends part. Now, I remember taking this approach around the beginning of my senior year of high school, during a similar situation, and it worked beautifully. It hasn't worked so well this time around. And, after much consideration, I believe I've come up with a few reasons why it hasn't worked.
Number 1: Last time this happened, I grew to loath the person that had caused it. Its very easy to get over someone, when you hate them. This time, that's not an option. Whoops, I just let it slip that this has something to do with another person... ah, well, its not entirely them, a large part of the reason I'm so upset has to do with two older people that live in my house, and seem to have an inability to get along.... hm, I just keep giving things away... do me a favor and use the Amnesia Ray on yourself. And by Amnesia Ray, I mean the revolver. Much thanks. Anyway, on to reason number 2.
Number 2: I went to a small high school. It was very easy to surround myself with friends, when I went to school with 200 people I knew personally everyday. Now, I got to a large community college, with around 5,000 or so people attending, and I know none of them (and most of the few I DO know, like my new friend Eric Zimmler in my Bio Class, I generally dislike very much) Plus, a lot of my friends have left, and gone off to college, or live in places like Alton or Prairietown where daily access is rather hard to come by. It stinks. So the healing process is going to take much longer this time, I'm sure.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... DAMMIT, IF YOU'RE MARRIED, YOU SHOULD GET THE HELL ALONG WITH EACHOTHER! Wait, no! Scratch that, that's not what I was trying to say. What I'm trying to say is, I'm unhappy. And I'm probably going to be unhappy for a while. And its just something I'm going to have to deal with. And I really don't hold anyone at fault, but myself for this. Because I suddenly seem to have an inability to look at the positives in my life. I suddenly have an inability to move on, and accept things that I can't change. Its retarded, I know, but... its hard for me to help.
But there are still positives in my life, I know, and a lot of them. My friends for example: Zach, Anna, Eva, Kristin, Aaron, Paul, Anthony, Josh, Terry, Tom... that's ten positives alone.... already a lot more positives than negatives.... and yet, for some reason the negatives, no matter how few, always seem to outweight the positives, no matter how many... but that's not the point! This paragraph is meant to accentuate the positive! Lets see, what other positives are there.... ah, yes! As weird, and stupid as this will sound to a lot of people, politics is still something I'm still able to immerse myself in, and thusly, make my problems seem insignificant. And my writing! I can still sit down and write stories and screenplays, and totally get into these things and make my problems go away.
The biggest problem though, is that when I'm not doing these things, the problems always creep back... no matter how good I'm feeling, or how much progress I think I've made, my problems always seem to smack me back down sooner or later.
I'm sure they'll go away eventually. I'm sure eventually I'll be able to move on, and be the same Tim I used to be.
It just may take a long long time. Le sigh.
Oh well.... tommorrow's another day, I suppose.
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