Venting time!
Okay, so tonight I had a discussion with a friend after the show "Angel" (good episode by the way.) Anyway, we talked on the phone, and we started off talking about Angel.... but then somehow wound up in the inevitable relationships discussion, discussing friends relationships, our views on relationships, etc.
Ohhhhh, man.
She started discussing how girls are afraid of commitment, because they all supposedly have some fantastic dreams of the future, and having a permanent partner that they are "tied-down" to eliminates any possibility of these dreams.
Ya know, I used to think Axl Rose's voice was the stupidest, most disgusting thing I'd ever heard. The apparent female commitment philosophy, however, has triumphantly dethroned Guns N Roses' baby boy.
I've got news for all you Miss Independents out there: You're never going to become a world famous feminist author, nor are you ever going to go to exotic lands and study the majestic wild life. In fact, chances are your dreams (no matter what they are) are just that.... DREAMS!! (unless of course, your dreams entail a crappy job, and just barely being able to pay your debts and bills... if that's the case, you're in luck!!) And 99.9% of the time, they do NOT come true!
Why? Well, apparently, according to everyone I've talked to over the past 3 months, that's LIFE! LIFE is disappointment! LIFE is coping with not getting your way! LIFE is taking what your given, no matter how bad it sucks, and liking it! LIFE is taking those lemons life gives you, and squeezing the juices into your eyes!
I've been depressed the past few months of my life, for many many reasons. And do you know what everyone's answer to all my problems has been?
"That's life! Just gotta deal with it!"
Oh, gee, okay! That makes it all better! So life is having your heart crushed, having unatainable dreams, and doing shit you don't like for the rest of your life, eh? Gee, how swell! I sure am glad to be alive!
Reality is this folks. You're probably not going to make any marks whatsoever in life. Unless you're extraordinarily wealthy, or your last name is Kennedy, you're not going to amount to jack squat. And no matter how many people you stomp, how many ties you cut, or how many hearts you break, you're not going to attain these fantastic (and in most cases blitheringly selfish) dreams you have about yourself moving away to exotic lands/becoming world famous/attaining massive wealth. Ya know what IS going to happen?
You're going to end up settling. You're gonna take what life gives you, and you're going to have to like it. You're going to end up living in a small, lower middle class, mortgaged house (if you don't drop out of college, in which case you'll end up in a shack/crappy apartment/trailer) doing a mediocre job that you don't really like (again unless you drop out of college, in which case you'll be pumping gas or flipping burgers) , and forever wondering what you could've been, had you been in the right place at the right time and had some degree of talent. And do you know why?
Because that's life. Life stomps on everything you struggle to achieve and kicks you off the mountain. Dreamers are idiots. And they're most likely selfish. They don't care about other people, they just want what's best for themselves. But apparently that's society's outlook now. Do what's best for number one, screw everyone else, every man for himself! And everyone seems to see nothing wrong with that philosophy. And I'm to the point where I couldn't give a damn anymore.
Let the morons be hypocrites. Let everyone jump all over eachother to achieve their dreams, and have them squashed flat. Let everyone go to hell, for all I care.
Cause I don't care anymore. Apparently life is disappointment. Apparently, the girl that I thought was the one, wasn't. Apparently, my idealistic job is a dream, and I'm an idiot for having it, and I should go settle on some stupid, everyman job, just like everyone else. Apparently, I'm just going to have to get used to feeling like I've been kicked in the stomach everyday, because I don't like where my life is headed.
Here's an easy solution to avoiding all the headaches chasing a dream will entail: Give up.
If I've got to accept the fact that "shit happens" so does everyone else
Life isn't pretty folks. It sucks. Its overcoming one giant obstacle, only to find an even bigger and more difficult obstacle hiding behind it. And so on. And so on.
And then you die.
Its a wonderful life.
