Ya know, its funny. Something happened to day that I originally thought, if it happened, it would utterly devestate me. And, granted, it has gotten me pretty bummed. But, its not that awful, hopeless kinda bummed I'd been previously feeling for so long.

Which makes me realize that there's hope for myself! I think the nasty depression really HAS gone away.

See... Lauren and I had a discussion today. And she said, basically, she's not ready for a relationship. And I'd always imagined myself being really crushed if she said that... but I'm not. In fact, I'm pretty okay with that. I can handle just being friends with her. I can also handle just not being in a relationship for a while, a prospect which, up until recently, has been haunting me since the end of my junior year of high school. Being single! Gasp!

I don't know exactly what fixed everything, but I really don't care. The point is, everything just feels right now.

Well, I'm gonna go... place. Anna supposedly wants to hang out tonight, and maybe Danno, too, so, I'm gonna see what's shakin' on that front.

Rock on, mia muchachos and muchachas!

So, guess who didn't do what he said he was going to today?

Yeah, I'm a big, f'ing wuss.

I really don't know what my problem is. All I know is, I need to get over it. And soon. You'd think this would get easier every time, but nay, it gets harder!

Sigh... we'll see what happens tommorrow, I suppose.

Rock on.

Oy.

It was Monday. Pretty much the first monday since everyone's school got out, which is pretty spectacular, I suppose. Plus I FINALLY got the internet back in my room, so I can go back to leaving my AIM on for hours on end, simply putting up away messages when I'm finished. Yes, making me happy is a fairly simple task.

However, I'm also pretty angry at myself. I NEED to talk to Lauren. Pretty badly. Before she starts to lose interest. And I really haven't gotten to all that much. There are several reasons for this.

The biggest reason would probably be... I'm afraid. I'm afraid to try to talk to her on the phone. I'm not a big phone person. There are a select few people I can talk to on the phone without the whole conversation de-evolving into a giant awkward pause. Terry. Anna. Zach. Danny. That's about it. I'm afraid if I try to call Lauren, we'll sit there in silence, and she'll think I just have nothing to say to her or something.

Reason number two: Long distance. I'm not completely sure, but my sister seems dead set on the (pseudo)fact that Lauren is technically long distance. So, that's sorta staved off any telephone conversations. Though, as soon as I get the 25 dollars Zach owes me (long story) I might be able to acquire a phone card, or something.

Reason number three: Maybe its ALREADY been too long. Maybe she's already lost interest. I saw her on Saturday, and, I dunno... maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree? Maybe she realized who exactly I actually am, and decided she really didn't like me after all? Maybe she never did to begin with? I don't know... I get nervous about this kinda stuff. Real nervous.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much I really, really wanna get to know Lauren, and I'll be kicking myself for the rest of the eternity of the comsos if I let this slip through my fingers. So, here's YOUR assignment, dear reader! (Oo, an INTERACTIVE blog!) Your assignment, should you choose to accept it... no, wait, I'm not even giving you that option! You WILL accept it! Your assignment that, whether you want to or not, you WILL accept, is to pester ME as much as possible about calling Lauren, and talking to her about all this stuff! The whole relationship is at a standstill, and will probably stay that way, or dissintegrate, unless I make a move one way or another! So pester away! Send me obnoxious IMs! (GeneStarwind1984 is my AIM screen name) Email me with threats of physical harm! (GeneStarwind1984@hotmail.com be the email address) Call me a million times, over and over again!! (346-1609, if you don't know the number) Send letters! Come over here and physically force me to pick up the phone and dial the number! (1115 Quatto Hill is the address. Its in Collinsville, Illinois. Go to www.mapquest.com if you need driving directions. Do we see how serious I am about this?!) Whatever it takes!

Meanwhile, I'M gonna try to work up the courage myself. And I'm gonna be annoyed to all hell, if I actually AM able to call her myself, and THEN all these people start pestering me to do it, unaware that the deed has been done. But that is a risk I'm willing to take!

So wish me luck, ladies and gentlemen! And to those who've decided to aid me, I'm going to thank you ahead of time, and apologize in advance for some of the comments that may be exchanged!

Rock on, people.

Furnulum pani nolo.
"I don't want a toaster."
Generally, things (like this quiz) tend to tick you
off. You have contemplated doing grievous
bodily harm to door-to-door salesmen.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah... that's right. Don't mess with me.

For this blog entry, I thought I'd do something a bit different, and yet, not different at all. I'm gonna introduce this entry with a little ditty I like to call "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" Coincidentally, it is also called this by pretty much everyone whose heard it. Its a song, you see. Who knew?

But there's a twist to this one. Instead of being the version by Creedance Clearwater Revival which most of us have probably heard at one time or another on the oldies station, this version is the cover performed by the Ramones on their CD "Acid Eaters". Now, I'm sure your asking "But Tim, what difference does it make? You're just typing the lyrics out! I could pretend they're performed by Avril Lavigne or Axl Rose for all you know!" Well, that's just the thing, my friend! I will be typing the lyrics EXACTLY as Joey Ramone sang them!

Confused yet? You WILL be!

Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

(At a very fast tempo)

Someone told me lo-ong ago
There's a calm before the storm, I KNOW!!!
It's been coming for some time
When it's over soooo they say
It'll rain on a sunny day, I KNOW!!!
Shining down like water

IIIIII WANNA KNOW!!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
IIIIII WANNA KNOW!!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
Coming down on a sunny day

Yesterday and da-ays before
Sun is cold and rain is hard, I KNOW!!!
It's been that way for all my time
Till forever o-on it goes
Through the circle fast and slow, I KNOW!!!
And it can't stop I wonder

I WANNA KNOW!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
I WANNA KNOW!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
Coming down on a sunny day

Someone told me lo-ong ago
There's a calm before the storm, I KNOW!!!
Been that way for all my time
When it's over soooo they say
It'll rain on a sunny day, I KNOW!!!
Shining down like water!!!!!!

I WANNA KNOW!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
I WANNA KNOW!!!
Have ya ever seen the raaain?!
Coming down on a sunny day!!!

The End

Well, golly gee, that was fun! And fantastic. Joey Ramone is my hero. God rest his soul.

Aaaanywho, today was a pretty kickin' day. I went up to Twilight Comics, with my old friend Codename: Harnersan X (Alex Harner). I bought nothing cause I needed to save my money for a movie, but we had a good discussion about the decline of quality in Marvel and DC comics. We had lunch at the food court in the mall, then went our separate ways. I immediately went up to the theatre in Edwardsville, wherest I met up with Schelp, Eva, Ashley, Kristin, and Krista. We saw Shrek 2, which shocked the hell outta me by being a really friggin' good movie. Antonio Banderes is ALSO my hero, with his performance as Puss in Boots. After the theatre, we all headed over to Wendy's, where I saw some photos of Ashley and Chris that, honestly, I just kinda wish I could UN-see... har har, I kid, they weren't THAT bad.......yestheywere!!!....ahem.... anyway, after Wendy's I trudged over to my good friend Aaron Walther's place, where he, Alex, Anthony, Paul, and I all hung out and discussed the many goings-on of our lives... and comics. Then... I came home.

All in all a fulfilling day.

One thing has been made abundantly clear this past week, though... I REALLY miss Lauren. I wanna call her, but I don't know if that would be bad, since this is finals week and all. And she hasn't been online, so I haven't been able to talk to her through THAT conveyance. Sigh... I'm really outta whack on this whole relationship thing, I really need to get back in the groove. It's not MY fault, I swore off on the whole "relationship" thing! Then Lauren just HAD to come along and be all cute and wonderful, and fun to be around, and change my mind on the whole situation! ;)

Anyway, if worst comes to worst, I'm pretty sure she's gonna be at graduation, so I can see her there and discuss things.

So yeah, that was my day. It was fun. I enjoyed it.

Big D&D game this weekend, by the way. That's gonna kick all sorts o' ass.

That's all for now. Its 1:30 a.m. Aqua Teens will be on shortly, and Tim doesn't like to miss his favorite show!

Rock on, children!

Ya know, I was gonna do a real entry, but then I realized nothing all that interesting has happened in the past two days.

Therefore, I figured this would be more fun:

Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!

They're bumpin' in a straight line
They're goin' through a tight wind
The kids are losin' their minds
Blitzkrieg bop!

They're pilin' in the backseat!
They're generating steam heat!
Pulsating to the back beat!
Blitzkrieg bop!

Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Shoot 'em in the back now
What they want, I dunno
They're all revved up and ready to go!

They're bumpin' in a straight line
They're goin' through a tight wind
The kids are losin' their minds
Blitzkrieg bop!

They're pilin' in the backseat!
They're generating steam heat!
Pulsating to the back beat!
Blitzkrieg bop!

Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!
Hey! Ho! Let's go!

I was right! That WAS fun!

Rock on, kiddies.

DAMN YES!!!

I'm the :D
Which smiley are you?

Yeah, that's right! I'm the most kickass AIM smiley of them all! The one with the big, obnoxious, toothy grin on his face!

Holy CRAP, I need to get a life!

Today = AWESOME.

I hung out with the girl today. And I've also decided that just calling her the girl, is lame, its not like no one knows who she is by now, nor is it like I don't want anyone to know who she is. She's Lauren Gerber. And we hung out up at the Township Park (I believe that's what its called) across the street from Metro. And we got rained on... a lot. But you know what? Doesn't matter. Cause it was awesome! She's an awesome girl and that's pretty much that! I am SOOOOOO glad I helped out with that musical now! 'Cause if I hadn't, I might never have gotten to get to know Lauren. And that would have been sad. I would have cried.

Anyway, I'm on an emotional high right now, and I'm gonna go.... be.... emotionally high, I suppose.

Rock on, madames and monsieurs.

Freedom. Its the most beautiful word ever. And as of yesterday, its what I have blissfully immersed myself in. As of yesterday, all my big, group projects for school are done. And none of my finals are culmulative, so basically their just regular tests. And all my tests have been easy, thus far. So, I feel free, and relaxed. I just gotta wait it out a week longer and then.... summer....

I love how everything is finally fixing itself. Everything's getting better, and I find myself falling asleep easily at night, without lying awake and dwelling on things, and actually enjoying my days. Its happy sunshine funtimes again.

Aaaaanyway on to more relevant stuff. So, today, I decided that I hate Bush. Well, I decided that a long time ago, but I remember telling somebody as much as I hated Bush, I liked all the democratic candidates less. Well, this is no longer true. I actually read about Kerry and his stances on everything.... and I really think I like the guy. So, it is with that in mind that I announce I am officially voting for John Kerry in the November election. It is also with this in mind that I officially announce I am no longer a Republican. I am a Democrat. (Of course I will always be a Communist, but for some reason, Communists never make it to the final balot. Ah well, such is life.) My Grandma's gonna HATE that but tuff titty said the kitty. Yeah, I said it, whatcha gonna do about it?! That's right, nothin'!

In other news..... I finally got the girl's phone number.... now its all just a matter of working up enough nerve to actually call her.... wish me luck.

I swallowed a spider today. True story. It happened not even an hour ago. I was sitting in my sister's computer chair, and I tilted my head back, and yawned... and this spider, that was apparently dangling inches above my head on his little web dealy, decided to just.... drop into my mouth. I panicked, gagged, and not knowing what else to do.... swallowed. Kinda hoping he wasn't extremely venomous, I'm not really sure what eating a venomous spider would do, but he was little, and he seemed to simply be just a harmless little house spider. I kinda feel bad, but hey, the bastard shouldn't have been floating above my head, nor should he have dropped into my friggin' mouth! Its his own damn fault. Anyway, we can all take comfort in the fact that he's in a better place now.... so long as he was a Christian spider. If he wasn't, well... then he's probably roasting in spider hell. Or, at the very least, my stomach. But lets be optomistic!

Wow... I'm really really tired right now. This week wasn't bad, it wasn't bad at all. The only problem is, well.... in case you couldn't tell from the last blog entry, there's this girl. And I'm really really starting to like her but.... I haven't gotten to talk to her all week. And I don't know her phone number. And I'm going kinda crazy about it. But, as annoying as that is, it is about 456,382,943 times better than how I had been feeling. So that's happy.

Anywho, another annoyance of the week, is that the internet in my room is STILL being retarded and not working, even now with the new ethernet card we have in it. Josh says it has something to do with a problem with the router. I do not know what that means. And I don't care. I want the internet back in MY room. So I can start using REAL instant messanger again, and not this crappy, stupid, AIM express. I wouldn't even use it were it not for the fact that the only way I have of contacting the girl mentioned in the previous paragraph is that I have her sn. Yeah, that's right, chicks don't give ya phone numbers anymore. In today's face paced world, chicks give out their SCREEN NAMES! Do not stand in the way of progress, that's always been my motto.

Well, no, it hasn't.

So anyway, I'm tired, and I've decided that if I don't get to talk to the girl online tommorrow, I'm gonna dust off that relic ancient man calls a telephone, break open one of those archaic devices ancient man calls a phone book, and call everyone in the book with her last name til I get her house.

Don't believe me? Well, then you're... uh... stupid. Anyway, my old friend Zach just sent me an IM on the stellar AIM express, so I'm gonna converse with him. Speaking of Zach, his band the Hot Rodders rock. I just got back from their show in Prairietown, and it ruled.

Well, that's all for now.

Rock on, chicos and chicas.

Ooooookaaaay....

Who were you in a past life? by Kat007
Name:
Birthdate:
Favorite Color:
Country:
You were most probably:	Countess Elizabeth Bathory
If not then you were:	Leonardo da Vinci
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

So, I was either one of the most sadistic women in all of known history (this isn't the first time I've been compared to her by the way. Next to Stalin, Bathory is my most frequent online quiz result **shudders **) or I was one of the most brilliant inventors to have ever lived.

With all due respect to the Blood Countess, I think I'll stick with telling people I was the man behind the Mona Lisa.

Woo! Well, bloggerites, a lot has transpired in the last few days, so let me break it down to ya'll.... as well as promise to you that I'll never ever use the words "break it down to ya'll" consecutively in a sentence again.

So last week, around Wednsday, I went to Metro to innocently sit in on one of their final rehearsals for the musical they were doing this spring. Perhaps you've heard of it. A little play called "Little Shop of Horrors". Anyway, I was standin' there, minding my own business, when the director, Lisa Keaton comes up and says "Are you here to help out with backstage?!" And I cleverly countered with a witty "Uh... well, I can if you need me to." And she shot back with a "Perfect, go help." So I did.

And I am SOOOO glad I did.

Being a part of the musical, even just a lowly stagehand, even the last few days, filled with their hectic-ness (it's a word now, I decree it) and anger, was soooo much fun! It was just a blast to be back with all my old friends in one place (Anna, Zach, Paul, Bri, Noah, Dan) and get to know a few other people better (Especially a certain someone, who I'm fairly sure knows who she is... and if she doesn't I'm gonna go ahead and say her name now, Lauren!). And just the fact that I was finally doing something other than sitting around and moping.... yeah, that was nice.

Which brings me to my next point.

I believe I've figured out my problem, and have simultaneously solved it. I've been sitting around doing nothing and its given me waaaaaaaaay too much time to just dwell on crap, that I shouldn't be dwelling on any more! And doing something like, a musical (something that was actually constructive AND fun, if you believe it) was just what I needed. I'm also convinced that friends are the ultimate solution to everything, and I personally can't wait until the summer when I'll have like... a thousand hours to hang out with all my friends, and not have this pesky school get in the way. (Which, thank God, is ALSO starting to wind down now that all my big projects are FINALLY getting wrapped up.)

And also, the musical itself, "Little Shop of Horrors" was awesome. Anyone actually involved in the cast will tell you it was terrible, cause that's what Metro kids do, they join the plays, then complain about how terrible they were when they're done, I know cause I did it too, but the play was awesome. Lo, a mighty run-on sentence. Anyway, I really like the story itself, and I thought everybody involved (especially Dan Sartoris as Orin Scrivello, the deranged dentist) did a fantastic job. But I had fun. The first night was flawless. The after party at Denny's was a good-time. The second night had its problems, but was still great. Hanging out with Paul, Zach and Elena at Steak N' Shake afterwards was awesome. The cast party was pretty bitchin' as well on Sunday.

Needless to say, I feel so much better the past few days, its unreal. And I really think its for real this time. Seriously. No, I'm not kidding! Listen to me fool, I'm correct! Question me again, and I will come down upon you like the hammer of God, I am RIGHT!

Life does have a funny way of working out. It really really does. I can see that now. Everyone kept telling me "Things will get better, hang in there." and I kept telling them all "Go to hell!" but they were in reality very right. I think that nasty black cloud has finally lifted.

And good times were had by all!

P.S. Ya wanna know what the most annoying thing in the universe is? I'll tell you! When you're standing at one of those supposedly "hi-tech", auto-flushing, urinals, doing your thing, and they automatically flush for no reason before you're done, and splash all over you. That's obnoxious. Oh, what's that, don't wanna hear about my bathroom adventures? I'm sorry, whose blog is this? Oh, that's right its MINE! X'ed! You lose!